we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
