Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
