if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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