Pants 0. Shit 1.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
