I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
