Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
