remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
