even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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