I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
