yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Are we still banned from the library?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
