I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
