are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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