My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You took a bar mat shot.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
