I can tuck mytits in my pants
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish you could order shots online.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
