i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
