It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
