I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
