were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
