Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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