u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
