i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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