my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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