You made me cry and you don't even care
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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