I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
