I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
