I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
