Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
