You work out of a Hotel?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
