Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
