On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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