How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
