I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
