First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
