somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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