i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
