And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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