It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
