Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
