Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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