I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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