you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
