I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's always time for handjobs
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize