remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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