he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
