I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
