Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
