After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
