bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My liver just had a heart attack.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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