i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
