I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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