Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
