So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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