Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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