...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
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Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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