Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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