At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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