Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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