You're so nebulous sometimes
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
