there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
