I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
