Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
