I just saw a hot homeless man
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
