I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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