Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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