White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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